


Selfish Love

by Sigrid20002



Category: One Piece
Genre: Action/Adventure, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-17 06:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14827187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigrid20002/pseuds/Sigrid20002
Summary: Law doesn't understand anything. He doesn't understand why he feels different since meeting a certain someone in Luffy's crew. He doesn't understand why his thoughts keep circling around this very person. He doesn't understand why he has no idea of - and certainly no control over - what is happening. He grows reserved to the crew and he avoids contact with the strawhat crew to prevent his... state from getting worse. Instead he focuses on a mission that is far more dangerous then he expected. Especially when Sanji is being pulled into this whole mess and suddendly becomes the object of some djinn's amusement.





	Selfish Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cooknokenshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cooknokenshi/gifts).



> I don't know how often I will upload the chapters, because writing in English is far more difficult than in my mother tongue, but I'm trying not to let you wait too long ^-^

_It was total chaos. He didn't really know, what to do or what to say. Maybe he should have expected this. It was a strange and crazy crew after all. Still he was totally confused and so he decided just to stay silent, while the crew was... 'eating'._

_Maybe the cook noticed his discomfort, maybe it was just subconscious, but as soon as the blonde placed his hand on his shoulder and bend forward to put the food down in front of Law, he felt a little better. Sanji was one of the few staying calm and he just raised his voice – or foot – to prevent the others from getting too exited and chaotic._

_And it wasn't just that. Somehow he felt like Sanji understood, what Law was feeling. That he felt out of place, like he didn't really belong here. They all were so lighthearted and careless, especially the captain. And Law himself... He experienced too much to live like that._

_Sure, Sanji also joined them in their carefree behavior, he felt safe with them and he didn't worry or questioned why he was with them. But he seemed to understand Law's hesitation and doubt._

_Maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe the cook didn't try to cheer him up. Maybe he didn't try to show, that not everybody on this ship was as crazy as the captain and that Law had somebody to rely on, if it's getting too much. But Law liked the thought of Sanji caring._

_He got his hopes up as the cook made sandwiches for everyone except for him. He really took the trouble to prepare something extra, because of his rather childish statement that he didn't like bread. Law knew it was probably due to Sanji's attitude as cook, but it didn't prevent the warm feeling spreading in his chest._

_And as he saw Sanji smiling brightly just because he had thanked him, he knew he'd lost it. ~~~~_

* * *

 

Law woke up later than usual, but he didn't feel refreshed or anything. Actually quite the opposite. He felt miserable and he didn't even want to get up. Unfortunately he didn't have a choice.

“Captain!,” somebody cried and a moment later Bepo burst in. “Shachi is dying!” Law signed and finally stood up, then he grabbed his hat and his sword.

“What is it?,” he asked and raised an eyebrow.

“I tried to silence him, so I pulled him into my fur, so he couldn't talk anymore. And then he lost consciousness!

“So you suffocated him,” Law stated. Sometimes his crew was even worse than Luffy's...

“I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!”

Law signed again, then he followed his crewmate to Shachi, who was already on his feet again and shot an angry look at the polar bear.

“You could've killed me!,” he exclaimed and Bepo apologized again and bowed his head.

“So you are awake now, captain?,” Penguin stated happily, but his smile faded, when he received a rather threatening look and no answer.

Law still felt down and he knew, he couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't the first time he was like this and slowly his crew began to notice it.

“Captain, is there something we can do?,” Shachi asked worriedly. He didn't like to see his captain like this and would have done just about anything to cheer him up. Unfortunately Law slowly shook his head and sat down at the table. Somebody went to get him his breakfast they saved for him.

“Maybe you'll feel better, after you talked about it,” Bepo suggested as worried as the others. Again Law shook his head.

“It's nothing,” he affirmed but his crew didn't seem to be convinced. They looked at each other skeptically, then their eyes fell on Law again who stated dryly: “You should have gotten used to my behavior by now...”

His crew stayed silent but they knew. He knew it too but he refused to admit it.

It wasn't his usual behavior. It was normal for him that he rarely smiled or showed any signs of happiness but this was different. He wasn't annoyed or just silent as usual. There was a bitterness in his actions, in his heart, he couldn't really explain and he sure as hell didn't like it.

In fact he hated himself for even feeling this, because perhaps he couldn't explain **why** he was feeling this, but he knew its origin. And he knew it wasn't rational. Not in the slightest.

He felt like this whenever he dreamed of _him_. Law could not claim to understand, why he would even dream about the cook of the strawhat crew, let alone his strange feelings of... grieve about it. There was no reason for it. And he sure wouldn't accept it that easily. He tried to hide it, to suppress it, like he always did. He was the Surgeon of Death after all...

But he couldn't say a single thing about all this to his crew. He didn't want to appear soft or anything like it.

“Anyway,” Law decided to change the suspect, “are we close yet?”

“We are,” Bepo confirmed with a nod, even when he seemed to feel uneasy about not having finished the other conversation. “But it will take another three hours 'till we'll arrive there.”

Law nodded as well and began to eat his breakfast. Maybe he could distract himself today. It would be quite the hard work to get _it_ out of there... Just as it was to get the information about its whereabouts.

“Captain, are you sure we should do that?,” Shachi asked frowning. “Not only is this thing highly guarded by the marines, there were also a lot of warnings about it. Maybe we shouldn't-”

Law interrupted him sternly, “No, we're getting it. If the stories are true then this could prevent any further war with the Emperors or the marines.” And he really needed something to do, a goal he could work for, so his mind wasn't circling around a certain topic...

Nobody of the crew dared to doubt the captains words after than, at least they didn't say anything out loud but they were still worried about the whole situation.

Suddenly Ikkaku entered the room and looked at Law with a serious face, before she said, “Captain, the strawhats are calling.”

Law wasn't surprised but more annoyed with this message. He got up knowing there was no chance he could simply ignore Luffy until he gave up. He just had to try to keep it short.

He followed his crewmate to the navigation room where the Den Den Mushi was placed. It imaged Luffy's typical wide grin already. Law picked up the speaker, before he greeted Luffy, who practically shouted his name in excitement. The surgeon just rolled his eyes on that.

“Why are you calling?,” he asked bluntly and straight to the point.

“I am checking on you,” Luffy said and laughed, when Law replied: “This is not the first time and I told you, it's fine. I'll call if I need you...”

“We should meet again! It's fun with you around,” Luffy continued as if Law haven't said anything.

“I can't,” the surgeon replied annoyed that Luffy didn't seem to understand. “Not now.”

“Yeah, you say that every time,” Luffy complained and Law could imagine him standing there with his arms crossed and sulking over it. “You need to have more fun, Torao!” This was a statement worthy of the future king of pirates, Law thought sarcastically. He didn't want to be mean, though, so he didn't say it out loud. Luffy probably would have taken it as a compliment anyway.

“I am fine,” he replied instead. He really wanted to end this call, before…

“Let me talk to him,” he heard a voice in the background and Law froze for a moment. There was some movement on the other end of the line and then he heard _him_ say clearly: “You know, you are just too stubborn. You should really come over again.”

“I may repeat myself, but I'm not going. I still can't.” Law spoke with the same neutral voice he used before, but this time he didn't really like to do so. Sanji sighed and his disappointed reaction made Law feel more than uncomfortable. It troubled him. It hurt him. And he was confused by that.

“Law,” Sanji spoke again and just his name voiced by the cook was enough to make his heart flutter for reasons he didn't know, “Are you avoiding us?”

Yes. Yes, he was, but he couldn't tell Sanji. He couldn't tell anyone.

He should have expected Sanji to notice it, though. He was clever after all… But Law had to continue pretending.

Law closed his eyes for a moment to concentrate on his words more than on the feeling of betrayal towards Sanji.

“No, I am simply busy,” he lied. “I got a lead to an old artefact that could help us defeat our enemies.”

“Of course you have,” Sanji replied and sighed again. “Look, I can't force you to anything, nobody can, but Luffy's right. You should really take care of yourself for once in a while.”

Law was silent. He didn't know how to feel. He was honored and somehow thrilled that Sanji really seemed to care but he also felt bad about lying to him and there was still this disappointed tone in the blonde's voice that left him feel bleak.

“Stay safe,” Sanji said before he hung up without waiting for another response. Law gritted his teeth before letting out a shaky breath. Why was this messing with him so much?

“C-captain?,” Bepo broke the silence after a while. “Are you-?”

“I'm fine!,” Law cut him off angrily. “How many times should I say it?!” His sudden yelling startled the polar bear and he flinched, while staring at his captain with wide eyes. This reaction was really unusual for him... to flare up like this.

Law noticed it to and he stepped back, shocked about his behavior himself.

“I'm sorry. I am in my room. Tell me, when we arrived,” he said in defense and left without another word.

**Author's Note:**

> I got the motivation and inspiration because of cooknokenshi and I was eager to write it for her ^-^ She has some beautiful accounts on insta and it's definitely worth checking out!


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